Journalists like:
a bigger news hole.
free food.

Journalists don’t like:
cramped press facilities at major news events.
media whores.

Journalists like to know how does it feel, and what’s the mood here now.

Journalists don’t like to know how the Social Security system really works.

A journalist is often found at news conferences, presidential visits, crime scenes, hospice vigils, and the sites of major snowfalls. A journalist is seldom found advertising his services on a website for gay escorts.

Journalists sometimes make too much money getting out of the studio too seldom so they can mingle with other journalists who are resentful because they never get into the studio at all.

Journalists can be Anchors, but never Sales. They can be reporters, or just repeaters. A journalist looks down on celebrities until the day he becomes one.

A journalist spends too much time covering a story that gets too little space so it can be skimmed by a reader who has too little time.

Journalists can’t resist: miracle puppies. children trapped in wells. killer bees.

Journalists almost always resist: stories with three or more sides, computer terminals without a Nexis account, angles that might make their colleagues think they were flaky.

A journalist will fly halfway around the world to stand where a tsunami took place, and he’ll stand in freezing rain for two hours to point out that it’s wintertime.

Journalists are more curious than anybody, attacked by everybody, and lent money by nobody.

A journalist will share a quote, but won’t reveal a source. A journalist thinks the first amendment is the only one the founders really meant.

What is a journalist? A journalist is someone who earned pretty good money telling us what was really going on in the world, until he realized he could earn better money by telling us about the social lives of the people who earn really great money telling us fairy tales about the world.

A journalist knows: who’s got the best Rolodex.

who’s got the best satellite phone circuits. how much backlight he needs.

A journalist doesn’t know: where to find Kyrgysztan on a map. where to find the smart people in a small town. how you’re supposed to fit a five minute story into a 90 second hole.

A journalist is just like the rest of us…except he’s more tenacious, lazier, sloppier, got better hair, and does his best work in the comfort of the herd.

What is a journalist? Next time you see one, just ask him: how does it feel?